The Job Description Said Teamwork—But They Meant People Pleasing

Spotting Red Flags That Hide Behind “Collaboration” Culture

Kamy Charles

6/13/20251 min read

a poster with a man and woman sitting at a table
a poster with a man and woman sitting at a table

We All Want to Be a Team Player—But at What Cost?

"Must be a strong collaborator."

"Team-oriented culture."

"Flexible and willing to go the extra mile."

These phrases sound great—until they’re used to mask dysfunction.

Too often, what’s advertised as teamwork becomes a cover for:

Unspoken expectations

Unbalanced workloads

Guilt-tripped compliance

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People Pleasing ≠ Professionalism

Let’s break down some signs that you’ve crossed from collaborating into chronic people pleasing:

You regularly say yes when you mean no

You worry more about being liked than being respected

You’re praised for “always being available”—even when it costs you

You feel burnt out, but guilty taking time off

In these environments, burnout isn’t a side effect—it’s the standard.

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Healthy Teams Don’t Exploit Kindness

True collaboration looks like: ✅ Clear roles and boundaries

✅ Psychological safety to speak up

✅ Respect for time, energy, and workload

✅ Feedback loops that go both ways

It’s not about who can give the most—it’s about how the team operates sustainably.

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How to Push Back—Without Burning Bridges

Start with:

1. Clarify Expectations: Ask what’s actually expected—don’t assume.

2. Use “I” Language: “I’d be happy to help, but I need clarity on priorities.”

3. Offer Alternatives: “I can support this, but I’ll need to shift X off my plate.”

Boundaries don’t make you difficult.

They make you effective.

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Final Thought: Teamwork Shouldn’t Cost You Yourself

A team that requires your silence, your burnout, or your guilt—isn’t a team.

It’s a trap.

If the job requires you to abandon yourself to belong, it’s not the right job.